Not Your Typical "Soccer Mom"

I wonder how Mary felt in the months leading up to Jesus' birth.  She was young by today's standards, but probably a typical age to begin having children in those days.  Women today have ultrasounds, "kick charts" and the like to let them know that their baby is well inside of them.  I'm curious to know if Mary worried about her baby in a normal motherly sense while He was inside, or if she knew He'd be safe since, after all, He was the Son of God.  Would God have sent an angel to tell Mary she would birth the Son of God, and then have her miscarry?  Did she worry about this possibility?  Or did she have such greater things to concern herself with that this did not even come into play?  How does one go about preparing to mother and raise the Son of God?  She found favor with the Lord, so obviously she lived a life that was pleasing enough to Him to choose her for this purpose.  But living a life for the Lord and raising His Son are two different things.  If pastors are held to a higher standard for their positions of helping us in our faith, then to what standard must Mary be held accountable?  Should I have given Jesus that time-out?  Oh, I shouldn't have yelled at Him for asking for the hundredth time when we'll arrive.  I shouldn't have scolded Him for staying behind at the Temple to talk to the rabbis, even though He gave me the fright of my life when I thought He was lost! 

Though Mary knew Jesus was God's Son, she still worried about Him.  Why?  Would not the Lord, Jesus' Father, take good care of Him?  I am sure that Mary was a far better mother than I am.  And I don't mean this to be a cop-out, but maybe mothers don't have to try to be perfect.  Mary wasn't, and God had chosen her to carry and raise His Son.  I am the type of person who gets discouraged easily, and can take a run of bad days of fighting with God's will for me as a "why do I even bother to try to obey Him" type of thing.  So maybe I need to create encouragement where I can find it.  But I do think that, given Mary was chosen by God yet was not perfect herself, we cannot be perfect here on earth.  We cannot obey God always- at least not without some level of "disagreement" with Him from time to time.  I'd love to be able to say of myself that I love God, have a very intimate prayer-life with Him and obey Him in all things while never doubting Him- but that would not be true.  I am weak, flawed, selfish, rebellious.  I need God, and the gift of His Son, so very much.  But He knows this.  He also knows how flawed I am, and that no matter how hard I try, I will not be perfect in my time on earth.  I thank Him for His patience with me, for working on and molding me, painful though it may be at times.  And when I get discouraged by life, by myself, I try to imagine how heaven will be.  Oh, it will be beautiful, no doubt- but what I look forward to is the day that I no longer worry.  I won't have to worry about my child or family and friends; my actions; if I have heard God correctly or if I am trying to make my will His own.  I try to remember that my best day on earth is still far worse than the "worst day" in heaven, if such a thing can exist.  And I hope that I will have a chance to speak to Mary, to find out answers to the questions I would ask her about how she felt raising the Son of God.  I want to know if she felt the peace of God wash over her every time she looked into the eyes of Jesus, her child, the Son of God.

Faith like a Child

Last night, Elijah told me, "I loved God first because I knew Him before I was even in your tummy."  How is it that children can say such simple, profound things?

"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
      you formed me in my mother's womb.
   I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
      Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
      I worship in adoration—what a creation!
   You know me inside and out,
      you know every bone in my body;
   You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
      how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
   Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
      all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
   The days of my life all prepared
      before I'd even lived one day. "
~Psalm 139: 13-16 (The Message)

Praise God!